Corrupted Wishes game

[Ransac]

Granted. 500,000 brand new users post on this thread daily. HOWEVER, this causes mass confusion, as there is no longer any continuity with the granted being granted and what not, due to the fact that multiple people post grants to the same wish. A war over what the legitimate line of wishes is breaks out and everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) is a casuality. And a meteor lands on you.

I wish that happiness began with the letter "A".


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[orgg]

Granted. For some reason, you are now female, and can never find Appiness. You are severly dissappointed.

I wish I could get these threads to work elsewhere.

 

[Ransac]

Granted. You move the thread to Antarctica, where is works perfectly and 100% of the population of that continent use it. And then a meteor lands on you.


I wish for whirled peas.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[orgg]

Granted. You are thrown in a blender full of various peas. It is turned on, and you whirl with those peas until you and the peas are a perfect paste.

Isn't this getting kinda old without new blood?

 

[Ransac]

Your wish was unclear, so the gods of wish granting throw you into a vat of boiling meteors, proclaiming "Nothing is old as long as it is done in the spirit of Randomness and Immaturity.

I wish that a vat of boiling meteors would envelop Michael Moore.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. The meteors that burst forth from the boiling pot of meteors tend to hit you. However, they are so tiny that they don't kill you. Scarred and in pain from this experience, you move further away, but the meteors still seem to find you. Long after Michael Moore's body has become scattered to the four winds, the tiny meteors continue to pulverise you. After fifteen years of this, you die from complications as a result of your bombardment by meteors.

I wish for a 747 packed with poison arrow frogs.

 

[Ransac]

Granted. The plane is filled with the deadly beasts. You are also on the plane, but hiding in an overheard bin. The plane then crashes in a blazing fireball.

I wish for Ping Pong!

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. You are enslaved and made into a ping pong gladiator. You must defend your life by winning ping pong. Due to a completely unrelated incident, your wrists are broken.

I wish for air hockey.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! Air hockey becomes the most popular thing EVER and it's everywhere. However, on your way play it for the first time since the "boom", you are run over by an Air Hockey Distributing Truck........ that then gets hit by a meteor.

I wish that Michael Bolton and Kenny G would get in a fight


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

They get into a fight--with you. You lose the fight.

I wish it weren't such a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.

 

[Ransac]

Granted. You find a short cut. It's behind the fridge. You're at the top of rock 'n roll for approximately 15.2 seconds, but then forgotten when Tom Green comes out with his "I want to suck Bill Gates" album. You are then killed in a freak snow mobile accident that is completely unrelated.

I wish for lots and lots of rabid weasels.

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

You have lots of rabid weasels trapped in a pit. They die off. After about four days, you fall in the pit of decaying weasels and die a lonely, putrid death.

I wish for a coal mine.

 

[Ransac]

Due to a stipulation in a random lottery drawing, you have a coal mine. While you examine your newly acquired cave, a pack of rabid wolves charge in and rip you to shreds. The cave then collapses........when a meteor lands on it.

I wish for a bucket of mayonnaise


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[orgg]

You now have a bucket of Mayo that belonged to Roger Ebert.

Ebert now is tracking you down, Terminator Two style, and will stop at nothing until he regains his mayonnaise snack; you must run with the bucket of mayonnaise until the end of your life-- which WILL be at the hands of Roger Ebert.

I wish I didn't have the impulse to look at older wishes to post here.

 

[Oversoul]

You get hit by a bus. The only impulse you have is to die.

I wish this thread were not so violent.

 

[Ransac]

Granted. You immediately die of a non-violent heart attack. The other users that post on this thread declare peace and happiness is spread......except that you're still dead.

I wish for even more cheese than last time.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

You are flying in a space shuttle and you are hit by the moon, which is made of cheese.

I wish the cow was full of milk.

 

[Ransac]

Granted. However, the cow is ONLY made of milk. Ransac launches this cow with the Farm-Animal Catapult. The cow lands on you and pops. You laugh joyfully as you've always wanted to be submerged in milk. A Bull thenlands on you. The bull was not made of milk. You are splattered something fierce

I wish that money would be given to me for no reason.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[EricBess]

Granted. You are walking along one day when a man runs up to you and hands you a bag of money for no reason. You thank him and continue along, only to be stopped a few minutes later by a cop, who explains to you that the money was from a recent bank robbery and you are under arrest. You have no alibi and no one believes your story, so you end up spending the rest of your life in prison, where the other inmate continually find you to be a very attractive addition to the "team"...

I wish you guys would't post 10 million of these an hour so that other people would have a chance to keep up

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. Ransac attacks you. Your attempts to defend yourself fail, but you manage to take him out with you. I become a hermit with no internet and no longer post on this thread. It now moves very slowly.

I wish that The Orgg and Nightstalkers would increase the postage here in Ransac/Oversoul's absence.