Corrupted Wishes game

[EricBess]

Granted...You are not "upon a star" wishing. Turns out to be a bit hot and you weren't quite ready for that....

I wish every wish wasn't starting to look the same

 

[Ransac]

Granted. Richard Nixon comes back to life and hands you a medal of honor for making the wishes be different. You recieve fame and fortune..... when you realize that the commies are coming for you. You go crazy and kill every single cardinal of the catholic church and try to kill the pope, when he reveals himself to be Emperor Palpatine and turns you into a gnat......and then squishes you and pees on you. Original, huh?


I wish for the streets to run with the blood of the munchkins from "The Wizard of Oz"


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. The streets grab the blood of the munchkins and proceed to run as fast as they can. They run right over you. Squish.

I wish that streets really could run over Ransac.

 

[Ransac]

Granted. The streets run over Ransac, who suffers minor injuries, on their way to flatten themselves on top of you. An imprint of you now can be seen in the middle of 5th and Main.


Ransac, cpa trash man

Edit by Orgg: Err, I think Ransac wishes that Dwarven Pony did more than Rock his Socks, as he forgot to put a wish.

 

[orgg]

(Well, I gave others a shot at taking it... I guess I have to.)

Granted! Dwarven Pony now also socks your Rocks. You double over in pain.

I wish that noone would forget to put a wish at the end of their posts again.

 

[Ransac]

Granted. No one forgets to add a wish at the end of their posts again, which is bad for two reasons. Everyone now forgets to add a wish at the end of their posts once, but they never do so again. This at first frustrates you to no end, but they only forget once....... and then add a wish to the end of EVERY post they make, not just the ones on this thread. With all the wishing going on, you decide to take it upon yourself to actually grant all of these wishes and become the Wishing Orgg. Your career is cut short before you can grant your first wish (which was Oversoul wishing for a new belly button ring) when a meteor lands on you, splattering orgg guts all over an orphanage.



I wish that Spiderman would get back on and make his draft pick!


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[DarthFerret]

Granted, Spiderman gets online, drafts Dwarven Pony, and the pain and agony this causes you results in internal hemmoraging, and you double over in pain, causing you to put your head through your computer screen, thus preventing you from making your next pick and eliminating you from the draft.

I wish I they would open up a card shop in my town.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! They open up a new Hallmark Card store in your town. You're so upset that your wish was corrupted thusly that you go on a murderous rampage and kill Bono from U2. Millions of people praise you for killing him, but you continue your rampage and kill these millions. Your rampage only ceases when you are knocked unconscious by Pauly Shore, who locks you in his basement to be his "play buddy".


I wish that Tom Cruise would be killed in a horrific diarrhea accident



Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[BigBlue]

Granted. Tom Cruise is visiting Tennessee when he get's the worst case of diarrhea in recorded history. They try to keep him hydrated, but the liquid only process right through him. It processes so quickly that Tennessee is suddenly covered in 12 inches of Tom's excrement. Not enough to drown anyone, but the smell makes you wish you were drowned.

I wish I had line of sight teleportation.

 

[DarthFerret]

Granted, however your teleportation is off by a factor of a Displacer Beasts Dispalcement, therefore you miss by 3 feet, embedding your hands in trees, thus preventing you from playing magic, typing on a computer or any othe activity you enjoy. Your death is prevented by an estranged monkey that feeds you, cleans you, and plays chess with you (which you lose because you cannot move your pieces.).

I wish Ransac's Casual Deck did not have a Balance in it!

 

[Ransac]

Granted! It has and I played Wrath of God instead. Now I didn't have to discard my hand or sac a land.

I wish that the David Blaine had broken that breath record.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[orgg]

Granted! He broke the record by holding his breath the rest of his life. Unfortunatly, a second after the record was broken, he died of asphixiation. No more "WTF-ery" for you.

I wish I didn't sell my Power Nine and Dual Lands to further my career.

 

[turgy22]

Granted! You didn't sell your Power Nine and Dual Lands to further your career. Now you're unemployed, poor and homeless. You spend your time wandering around, cradling the cards in your hands and calling them your "precious".

I wish my dog would learn to go to the bathroom outside.

 

[Oversoul]

Your dog goes outside and takes a dump on The Orgg's foot. The Orgg becomes enranged and breaks all your ribs.

I wish The Orgg would start doing that invisible text in his wishes again.

 

[Ransac]

Granted. Now that's all he does. Every post he has is in InvisiText. We catch on to it, but some newbie doesn't and goes on a homicidal rampage in his confusion. You're his first victim. He kills you with several thousand papercuts........ from Spellfire cards.


I wish I could spell the word "Catastrophe" in a funny way!


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[DarthFerret]

Granted, you spell it Cat Ass Trophy and win an award for the most disgusting innovative thought by the Starving Artists Association. On your way out with your reward, you are hit by a bus you never saw coming at you and the award sails through the air, landing on the President of Mongolia. You are extridited and your hands are cut off for an attempted assasination.

I wish the surveyor would get my meets and bounds on my property done this weekend!

DarthFerret, cpa sith rodent.

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. But unfortunately for you, it happens in some way that you now regret.

I wish I knew what "meets and bounds" were, so that I could corrupt Darthferret's wish in a more detailed manner...

 

[DarthFerret]

Granted, you instantly know all about meets and bounds, longitude and lattitude, and all aspects of Geological Surveying. Unfortunately you are stuck in a carreer as a restaurant dishwasher, and while pondering all this newfound knowledge, you get your hair stuck in the dishwasher door, and fall unconscious when it hits spin cycle! (dishwasher or clothes washer? eh..whats the difference...)

I wish I could find the electrician I need to install my meter box, 200 amp fuse box, and conduit.

 

[Ransac]

Granted. After he does this, he knocks you out with his tool belt, ties you up, and throws you in the back of his truck. When you wake up, you find yourself being sold in a slave auction to Star Wars geeks. One guy has his eye on your, mumbling something about fitting you in his "Cantina Slave Outfit."


I wish everyone here was awake so I could start driving again


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

Everyone wakes up. You start driving again--right off a cliff.

I wish for a cliff!