Corrupted Wishes game

R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! Bubba "Cliff" Jenkins, having just been driven off of by Ransac, is angry and finds you to take his agression on. He does so by making you dress in drag and sell Girl Scout cookies to Pee-Hee Herman and Michael Jackson.


I wish for Thin Mints!


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
There is a knock at your door. You open it to find Oversoul selling cookies. But when he realizes that it's you, he pins you to the ground and force feeds you thin mints until you choke to death.

I wish I were highly radioactive.
 
B

BigBlue

Guest
Granted - you are highly radioactive... you'd hoped this would have turned you into the toxic avenger... however - the twisted fairy godmother who heard your wish instead makes it so you now dance uncontrollably to an invisible radio inside your head. You can't understand why no one else hears it and isn't dancing to the 70's disco blaring inside your head... Fortunately for you, your agony is ended when you accidentally do the hustle right off the top of a building, dancing midair for the last moments of your life, oblivious to the rapidly approaching ground below.

I wish I never had a wish.
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Your wish is given to Ransac, who uses it to make a meteor hit you.

I wish for the biggest meteor ever.
 
D

DarthFerret

Guest
Granted, you now posses the biggest meteor ever, but the gravitational forces are too much and you are compressed to the surface of the meteor....Then your eyeballs explode.

I wish for soup.
 
E

EricBess

Guest
Ha, for a second there, I thought to wished for "soap". Well, I'll grant both. You now have soup enough to last you the rest of your life. That's all you have. Everything else makes you break out into a rash that just makes you misserable. Nothing but soup, day in day out, every meal. And it's soap soup, so it tastes horrible...

I wish I hadn't thought you said "soap"
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Granted, Ransac brains you with his lead rabbit. You are rushed to the hospital, where you seem to be making a nice recovery, until twelve medical mishaps later you die from complications.

I wish there weren't so many medical mishaps.
 
E

EricBess

Guest
Granted. The President of the United States meets with leaders from all nations and they immediately put into affect a "plastic bubble" approach to medical mishaps. You are their first vic...subject. Men in black suits rush in a grab you and isolate you within a plastic bubble. Soon, there are nothing but a few resistance groups running around as everyone else is "protected".

I wish two of my kids hadn't gotten head injuries this week (and now I get brained with a lead rabbit :p)
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Granted. Three of your kids get head injuries this week.

I wish for yellow to be eliminated from the electromagnetic spectrum.
 
Mooseman

Mooseman

Isengar Tussle
Granted. Now, no one can see their own pee........or anybody else's...

I wish for a can of Bear Wiz beer, the taste that make you want to just pee right into the stream.
 
B

BigBlue

Guest
Granted - you are transformed into a character within a Firesign Theatre radio Drama. Unfortuantely for you Rocky Rococco has an evil plan to take over the domestic beer market with Bear Wiz Beer and you are in his path. Nick Danger accidentally hits YOU with his car while chasing him, with Lt Bradshaw in hot pursuit... At least you didn't have to "milk" the bears...

I wish more people understood what we were talking about.

Dude... I love Firesign... I'm listening to Don't Crush That Dwarf right now... Shoes for Industry!
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Everyone understands what you are talking about, but they understand the secret meaning you didn't even know about. And now they all want to kill you.

I wish for an angry mob.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! A hobo walks by and hands you an Angry Mob card from early Magic Days. You get pissed as this was not as you had intended your wish to be granted. As you fume, you accidentally papercut your wrist with the card and die a horribly painful, bleeding death.

I wish that Kobe Bryant would be nicknamed "Kobe Has No Penis"

Ransac, cpa trash man
 
D

DarthFerret

Guest
Granted, unfortunately, Kobe finds out that you were the cause of this naming, and comes after you much in the manner he did those women. You now can never go anywhere without everyone laughing at you.

I wish Basketball was never made into a professional sport.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted. The inventor of the sport decided to create "Ferret Dry Humping". Anyone with anything in common with "Ferret" is now subject to 24-hour bum-invasion.

I wish that Wizards would somehow happen upon our homemade card set and use it as an example for future sets.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
B

BigBlue

Guest
Granted - one afternoon whilst browsing the fan sites, they come accross the CPA. They find our set, and feel compelled to plagiarize it, giving us no credit for it. Then, in a complete act of defiance, they accuse us of stealing their ideas and come after us much like they've sued other internet people & sites. The CPA ceases to exist - happy now?

I wish... I wish... umm.... I wish I had a reason to make a wish right now.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted. Billions of Dwarven Ponies stampede off in the distance and are threatening to destroy your town. You realize that I'm behind all of this and exclaim "RANSAC! That bastard!" You also realize that the only way to stop this rampage is to make a corrupted wish. You get to your computer, having a reason to make a wish, but have no idea how to word the wish. While pondering this, the ponies crush your house and town.... and then a meteor lands on you.

I wish I could control the meteors to do whatever I truly wanted.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
N

Nightstalkers

Guest
Granted - aliens take BigBlue captive and strand him on a planet completely overrun by Spellfire cards.

I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish...
 
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