Corrupted Wishes game

[EricBess]

Wow...Looks like your dark wishes killed the thread for two days...The entire CPA implodes in a miasma of darkness and for the first time in this thread, a wish is not granted

I wish someone else had responded to that. I feel really ugly inside right now.

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. I ignore your wish and corrupt BigBlue's wish. Now his wishes are no longer so dark, as he snaps and beats you to death with his bare hands. When he sees what he has done, BigBlue is so traumatized that he goes catatonic for the rest of his life, and only thinks happy thoughts and only wishes for not-dark things.

I wish my wishes were darker.

 

[BigBlue]

Granted. The evil spirit which had been possessing BigBlue transferred to you. You now are the holder of dark and evil thoughts. Thoughts which would turn any normal man insane, but you are abnormal, and so instead of going completely insane, you have half a mind to kill each person you meet and half a mind to love them... This dichotomy is very difficult to deal with. Having a love hate relationship with the world makes every day darker and darker... You hate that you love your enemies, you love that you hate them. Eventually, you decide the time has come to end your life, but you find salvation in the form of...

I wish I knew how Oversoul found salvation.

((Well, it's still a dark response, isn't it... I guess Eric's wish didn't come true... after all...)) mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. You see the glorious cause of Oversoul's salvation. Its sheer awesomeness drives you mad and you spend the rest of your days institutionalized.

I wish for thorazine.

 

[BigBlue]

Granted. BigBlue escapes from the Asylum (muttering something about John Big Booty) and tracks you down for having him locked up. He takes out a really big needle and using it injects you with the thorazine he was able to take from the Asylum. You enter a state of Euphoric Bliss. You are so happy you don't even realize it when the meteorite comes crashing down on top of you, killing you instantly, but happily.

I wish for World Peace.

 

[Lythand]

Granted. However World Peace happens to be the name of a cheap hooker who has been around the world..World..Peace..everyone has gotten her. As a result, you have contracted a rare form of herpes known as Herpes Symplex 10.

I wish for a cheese helmet

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. You have cheese helmet. When Ransac goes on his spree of braining everyone with his lead rabbit, your cheese helmet isn't quite as protective as a sturdier one might have been.

I wish for a concussion.

 

[Lythand]

Granted. You can borrow my cheese helmet and just wait for Ransac to come along. Along with the concussion you will suffer a lost eyeball since Ransacs aim is a little off.

I wish for more women to look like Angelina Jolie.

 

[BigBlue]

Granted - you are now tormented by the fact that not only do more women look like Angelina Jolie - but ALL women now look like Angelina Jolie. How is this torment you ask? Well, they all refuse to have anything to do with you and go out seeking all the Brad Pitt lookalikes, which was wished for by one of them - unfortunately, you were not the recipient of his looks, and so you are left out in the cold. Then, one of these lookalikes knocks on your door. She looks like Angeline Jolie, but sounds like Jennifer Anniston. She is furious with you for your wish, and quickly clobbers you to a bloody pulp with a cheese club.

I wish I didn't have this raging case of Herpes Symplex 10.

 

[Oversoul]

You don't. There is no such thing as Herpes Symplex 10, silly. It's actually necrotizing fasciitis.

I wish for a hundred thousand books.

 

[BigBlue]

Granted - One Hundred books titled "Thousand" appear in thin air above you. After suffering the deluge of raining books, you open one of them to see what information they contain. Each book contains one thousand pages with only the number "1" printed on each page.

I wish people would come up with more difficult wishes to corrupt.

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. While you are distracted trying to corrupt my next wish, you fail to notice the other CPA members planting drugs all over your property and person. Someone calls calls the police and you are unable to find and dispose of all the illegal substances in time.

I wish for this wish to be impossible to corrupt.

 

[BigBlue]

Granted - but what a complete waste of a wish.

I wish more people played this game.

 

[Oversoul]

Granted. Everyone on the planet plays this game. The server crashes and we all blame you and lynch you. This is starting to sound familiar...

I wish nothing bad would ever happen to me again.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! Something HORRIBLE happens to you....... but I'm too disgusted to speak it here.

Oh! I wish I wasn't too digusted to speak it here!


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

You aren't. And that makes you a horrible person. Good job, Ransac.

I wish I weren't such a horrible person.

 

[DarthFerret]

Granted, you are no longer such a horrible person, and as such, you stop posting in this thread. The thread withers and dies from lack of activity, and that causes a chain reaction that causes the entire board to dissapear into the nether world of the internet, and it is all your fault!

I wish my tooth ache would go to someone else instead of me!

 

[EricBess]

Granted. It goes to your wife. I don't think I need to explain what happens when she starts glancing around the CPA and finds this thread....

I wish all these internet spammers would shrivel up and die

 

[Lythand]

Granted. All internet spammers die. However families of the spammers are calling it the new Genocide, and the goverment is holding you accountable for the largest mass murder in history.

I wish for the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

 

[Melkor]

Granted, however, the sheer enormity and complexity of the answer is too much for any human brain to truly comprehend or even process. You experience a psychotic break from the strain of trying to make sense of it all, killing those around you and clawing out your own eyeballs before falling into a coma as your brain shuts down under the weight of the ultimate revelation.

I wish that instead of junk mail, I got checks from people who want to see me happy