The Off-Topic Battle over Nothing!!!!

[Oversoul]

*Oversoul falls back to the ground, struggling to remove the deadly colon. His efforts only succeed in spraying Ransac with feces. He passes out from the stranglehold TheOrgg's colon has him in. In his state of unconsciousness, he casts Flare on the ordure covering Ransac's face. As everyone knows, orgg dung is highly flammable, and sticks to you like napalm. As his brain continues to be deprived of oxygen, Oversoul lapses into another coma--the kind where he repeatedly casts Inferno*

 

[Ransac]

*Fortunately, Ransac is still enchanted with a Ward of Lights, naming Red. The Inferno and the fire doesn't affect him.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Nightstalkers]

18...

*Ransac decides to be nice and casts Ertai's Meddling on the Extinction, where X=18 posts.*

hee-hee-hee. I love the Rath Cycle.

*A Nightstalker wipes away the condensation from the window of his cumfy capsule and watches everyone die*

Heh, glad I'm not one of those guys...

*The Nightstalker next to him smacks him in the face with a pie*

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac notices the Extinction going back on the stack and decides to Forbid it, discarding two Basking Rootwallas (invoking madness) to buy it back. Ransac then instructs his Rootwallas to bite Oversoul's balls.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

*The Basking Rootwallas startle Oversoul, waking him back up. His Inferno destroys them before they can maul him further. Theorgg's colon seems to have been lost in the conflagration.*

My head hurts.

*Oversoul sits up, then lies back down.*

I don't think I'm going to make it. Ransac, come closer...

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac creeps closer to Oversoul.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

Now!

*Oversoul tears off his disguise, revealing himself to be Personal Incarnation. The real Oversoul sneaks up from behind, and the two of them double-team Ransac.*

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac screams like a little girl and covers his face with his hands. Just as Oversoul and his Personal Incarnation are about to finish the job, Ransac's Polar Kraken squishes the two, leaving Ransac unharmed, but still screaming like a little girl.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Nightstalkers]

*pops out of their pods and looks around*

Umm... did we miss the part where we drop a giant anvil on someones head?

 

[Ransac]

It's okay. You dropped it on my head. That part of my body doesn't matter. Nothing important in there. It was a pain to crawl out from under it, but no one wanted to read about that, anyway.

*Ransac sticks out his tongue and the ever-famous FARM ANIMAL CATAPULT appears next to the Nightstalkers.*

A present for all the times in the past you helped me in Off-Topic battles.

*Ransac then casts Singe on Oversoul's nuts.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Nightstalkers]

Eh.. well...

*pulls out a scribbled over Magic Card and smiles*

We have this.

 

[Oversoul]

Ow. Singed nuts, get Ransac. Personal Incarnation, get the Nightstalkers. I'll take care of this kraken...

*Oversoul's Singed nuts attack Ransac while Personal Incarnation approaches the catapult warily. Oversoul punches the Polar Kraken in the face, then gets another smashing dealt to him.*

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac steps on Oversoul's Singed nuts, crushing them into charred dust. As the Polar Kraken is dealing a smashing to Oversoul, Ransac pulls out a remote control, points it at the catapult, and clicks it. The catapult scoops up the Personal Incarnation and launches it towards the bloody remains of Theorgg.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

Time to call in the backup...

*An Abyssal Hunter and a Rootwater Matriarch walk out of a City of Brass. Oversoul has the Abyssal Hunter stall the Polar Kraken, while he taps the Rootwater Matriarch to gain control of Ransac*

I knew that Ward of Lights wasn't a bad thing.

*Oversoul has Ransac attack the Nightstalkers.*

 

[Nightstalkers]

Hmm... Wethinks this a good time to play this...

*tosses his scribbled over Serpent Generator on the ground and millions of clockwork gingerbread men pop out of it and form several clockwork gingerbread men*

hee hee... what you can do by getting one guy to write new mechanics for a card... and sign it too!

*the gingerbread men take a swipe at the Incarnation and give it a poison counter*

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac cusses at the Rootwater Matriach as he charges into battle with the Gingerbread man protected Nightstalkers. He tries in vain to slap his butt-cheeks, thereby inverting the universe again. But, he doesn't have control over himself.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Nightstalkers]

*A Nightstalker runs up to the Matriarch and points a toothpick sized rod of ruin at it*

Like, die ebil meanie!

*the toothpick glows bright red for a second then goes back to normal. After a few seconds the Nightstalker starts looking at it and inadvertaintly points it at his head... and finally the miniature rod of ruin shoots out a pillar of black soot in his face*

*cough* Redo! I wasn't looking.... *cough*

 

[Oversoul]

*Oversoul stares at the creatures coming from the Serpent Generator.*

Whatever those things are, they need to die.

*Oversoul casts Pyroclasm.*

I guess that Nightstalker did have a point. I should protect the Matriarch...

*Oversoul casts Inviobility on Rootwater Matriarch.*

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac assumes Oversoul meant Invisibility*

*Ransac pulls out the lead rabbit and starts clubbing Nightstalkers, while the Matriarch is heard laughing at this.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Nightstalkers]

*the Nightstalker coughs out a puff of black smoke and resorts ot one of the few tools he it has left... with a big black grin it walks up to the Matriarch wearing a grey trenchcoat and waves, then flashes the Matriarch... successfully terroring*

hee hee... you have buttcheeks, I have... umm... terror.