Crapstorm: A New Game: Because... Why Not?

turgy22

turgy22

Nothing Special
Day: 1
Time: 9:25 am

You are fighting a face-eating zombie.

Round 1
Sophia charges at the zombie, which looks up and growls at her approach. As she nears, he wobbles slightly out of the way and gets hit by only a glancing blow. His attention is now on Sophia and he staggers toward her to attack.

Status Update
Ward and Sophia lose 1 energy from the attack.
Face-eating zombie takes 3 pain and loses 1 life.
 
R

rokapoke

Guest
In the distance, a figure can be seen hustling to join your group. It appears to be a man... except his lower half clearly comprises two legs ending in hooves rather than conventional feet. The legs are clearly cow legs, as they come with the appropriate udders. The look on his face indicates that he's aware of the odd transgender/trans-species conflict his body represents, and that he's less than pleased about it.

"Sorry I'm late. Name's McGill. I'm half centaur." (Clearly, the top half).

"I'm renowned for my skills with a bow. Does anybody have a bow handy?"
 
M

Melkor

Well-known member
"Zombies, what a waste of flesh. They call us both undead but really we're opposites. I'm all mind and soul and no body, the zombie is all body, no mind or soul."
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
I recall reading about an effective method for defeating this type of miscreant. However, I will require a distraction...

Careful, everyone. Maybe his bite will infect you or something. I read that that's a thing that can happen.

Ward uses anagram to turn Sophia into a gun.
 
turgy22

turgy22

Nothing Special
Somewhere, in a far-distant realm, the Benevolent Overseer shudders at the thought that he might have to add Bulbapedia to his favorites.

Back on the Route Two on-ramp, McGill passes a wrapped box that the others must have overlooked. Lucky for him, it is topped with an ornate bow.

McGill acquires an ornate bow.
 
R

rokapoke

Guest
"Curses! This bow is useless with my violin! I'll have to resort to kicking the zombies instead of serenading them with deadly, deadly music...

... or perhaps my violin is sturdy enough to be used as a blunt weapon. Hm."

McGill lunges at the nearest zombie, wielding his violin.
 
turgy22

turgy22

Nothing Special
Day: 1
Time: 9:26 am

You are fighting a face-eating zombie.

Round 2

Sophia changes into a gun.
Pikachu unleashes a Thunderbolt that hits the zombie, causing him to moan, but remain otherwise undeterred.
Face-eating zombie lunges at Ward, but fails to bite him.
McGill lunges at the zombie with his violin, but fails to connect.

Status Update
Ward and Sophia lose 1 energy from the transformation.
Pikachu loses 3 energy from the attack.
Face-eating zombie takes 3 pain and loses 2 life.
McGill loses 1 energy from the attack.

Safety Ratings (I meant to post these last round)
Ward: 8
Melkor's Ghost: 8
Pikachu: 7
McGill: 5
 
turgy22

turgy22

Nothing Special
Time-out a minute... gotta update the last round with McGill's attack.

OK, ready now. Nothing changed.
 
S

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
"Pika pika!" Pikachu seems a bit despondent over the lack of any effect of his Thunderbolt. He ceases hopping but stays alert.
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
Ward uses affixation to make Sophia a shotgun. He aims for the zombie's head.

Now I am ready.

Bonum nocte, culus.
 
R

rokapoke

Guest
"You know, this standard violin might not be that great for combat. Let me grab that solid gold one I 'borrowed' from the Robot Devil."

McGill swings at the zombie with his solid gold violin.
 
turgy22

turgy22

Nothing Special
In an effort to speed up this battle, I'll also assume attacks stay the same and only pause if the state of a character changes significantly. Please feel free to make me do it over if you don't like the results.

Day: 1
Time: 9:27 am

You are fighting a face-eating zombie.

Round 3

Sophia changes into a shotgun. Ward aims the shotgun to fire, but the zombie hits the gun as the trigger is pulled, causing it to fire into the ground. And where are the shells coming from? Poor Sophia! A chunk of her is now lodged in the pavement.
Face-eating zombie then tries to bite Ward's face, but eats only air instead.
McGill takes a swing with his solid-gold violin and hits the zombie squarely on the back of the head. The zombie did not like this.

Round 4

Ward pulls the gun around and fires from an unsteady position. The shot goes wide.
Face-eating zombie is groggy from the violent violin attack. He fails to do anything.
McGill smacks him upside the head again, causing him to fall lifelessly to the ground.

Status Update
Face-eating zombie takes 12 pain and loses 7 life. Face-eating zombie is dead.
Ward and Sophia lose 3 energy and 4 life from the transformation and shots fired. Ward and Sophia gain 1 experience.
McGill loses 2 energy from his attacks. McGill gains 7 experience.
Pikachu gains 2 experience.

The party is currently on the on-ramp from Safeway Drive to Route Two.
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
I thought they taught you guys how to shoot back at the academy.

They did!

You missed. Twice.

Ward uses periphrasis to change Sophia from an unloaded shotgun into a loaded shotgun.

That was excellent work, McGill. Now, since Melkor's ghost is surely immune to any contagion that might have afflicted this anthropophagite, I suggest that he examine the string about its neck while I search the creature's victim...

Ward carefully searches the body of the face-eating zombie's faceless victim.
 
turgy22

turgy22

Nothing Special
The string around the face-eating zombie's neck held a small clear packet of crystals.

Melkor's Ghost acquires a packet of bath salt.

The face-eating zombie's victim is completely naked and somewhat skinless, as well. He has nothing on him.
 
R

rokapoke

Guest
McGill sniffs the air, hoping his nose will detect anything other than dead zombie and will therefore help to inform the group's next move.
 
turgy22

turgy22

Nothing Special
Telephone poles are scarce in the post-apocalyptic near-distant future. Trees, less so. Pikachu can see a sprawling forest on the other side of Route Two, but no trees growing alone that might provide a clear view in all directions. The Petrified Forest lies to the north, but the trees there aren't very tall and they're extremely hard to climb. Well, they're just hard, in general.

The wind is blowing in from the southeast, on the other side of Route Two, where the woods are. It smells like deciduous trees.
 
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