Corrupted Wishes game

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted. However, it is now actually ALIVE and comes after for all the porn you've downloaded. You are electrocuted and maimed by the computer that once was your only friend.

I wish that I could put my brain in a robot body.

Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
GRAANTED!

However, the robot body is not equipped to handle a brain. The brain just sits in it, unused, until it dies from a lack of oxygen.

I wish computers were backwards compatible with games in terms of speed and OS compatibility
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
GRANTED!!! They are now backwards compatible.............with certain games. None of the cool ones, like for SNES, Genesis, or even NES and Mastermind, but for systems like Kalekovision and Commadore (Dont ask how they fit). These TRUE old school games seem cool at first, but eventually get boring. BUT, right before you're about to turn it off, you get sucked into the game console and are forced to play "Duck City"..... FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I wish for cheese


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
A large chunk of the moon, which is made of cheese, breaks off and falls on you, pulverizing your body.

I wish I had Ransac's cheese.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
The cheese rolls over onto Oversoul, pulverizing his body. :D

Now, I wish for a decent medical plan.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
O

orgg

Guest
Granted! Unfortunatly, you died of terminal Cheese.

I wish I didn't have to crap.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! You're bum melds into one cheek with no hole. You no longer need to crap, but now your body needs to explode.


I wish I was in a place that theorgg's poop explosion wouldn't hit.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
O

orgg

Guest
*eats Ransac
Granted! Now you're actually a portion of the poop that's going to explode!

I wish that LSD-laced Scope and Vodka wasn't being sold to college aged idiots as "Absynth."
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
It's now being sold under your name, leading to many bad jokes.

I wish I knew all of the bad jokes that have ever been told.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted. Problem is, this will take coaching....and time. So, Carrot Top will coach you.............forever........


I wish that I would ALWAYS be happy!

Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
You are now one of the Epsilons in Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World" (where everyone is happy, all of the time). I was going to use a more appropriate short story called like "The Happy Man" or something, about a guy who is afflicted with unwavering happiness, but I couldn't find it.

I wish I could find that story.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! A heavy, hardback copy of the book falls out of a window and crushes you to death.


I wish for penguins!!!!!!


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
You are banished to Antarctica. Before you freeze to death, your eyes are pecked out by penguins.

I wish a brick would fall on my head.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! A brick lands on your head. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then another. And then an asteroid lands on you.

I wish I knew why all those bricks fell on Oversoul.
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
You are infused with the knowledge of the demon's secret--the same terrible secret that Oversoul died such a bricky death for knowing.

I wish that when the demon kills Ransac, he doesn't use any bricks.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! The Demon uses Oversoul's dead body to beat Ransac into a bloody pulp. Afterwards, the demon descecrates Oversoul's body by.......... it's best not to say.


I wish that Canada go to war with France, and not bring any harm to the U.S.A. in the process.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
The war is brutal but miraculously doesn't harm the United States in any way. In an unrelated incident, about a dozen states secede from the union, yours included. France blows them up. You get killed in a war--by the French.

I wish for this horrible war to end.
 
O

orgg

Guest
Granted! It's encased in a giant block of cement, which falls upon you when you attempt to remove the BB gun.

I wish my toe did not hurt so.
 

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Granted! A block of cement lands on and amputates your entire leg. You can't feel your toe anymore!

I wish that I could cook like the good cooks on the Food Network.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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