Corrupted Wishes game

[DarthFerret]

Granted..... You are in the group, singing opera, when a disgruntled, out-of-work Ransac brains you with a lead rabbit, and takes your place, going on to becoming so unpopular that opera is generally regarded as evil.

I wish that Lunch would be made a national holliday!

 

[Mooseman]

Granted..... except that Opera must be played during the entire holiday, with the mooseman and KJ singing the lead parts...... then opera will truly be evil....

I wish that crystals actually could produce energy, like in Star Trek.

 

[Ransac]

I wanted to get something fun started, so....

Granted! They now can, and DO, produce energy like in Star Trek. Unfortunately, no one knows how process or contain this energy now and the government decides to store them at your house until they do, giving your every kind of cancer on every possible part of your body..... and then a meteor lands on you.

I wish to win big on Wheel of Fortune


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

You play on the hit show "Wheel of Fortune." The other players are much better than you and take all of the prizes. Your only consolation prize is a Spanish version VHS tape of the movie "Big."

I wish I knew Spanish.

 

[BigBlue]

(I heard it was on Betamax...)

While out walking on the beach, you hear odd noises coming from the sea. You go out to see what they are and discover a Mermaid whose flipper is caught in a net. Drawn to her beauty, you free her from her entanglement. As a reward she grants you one wish, you say "I wish I knew Spanish!". She says, "Granted." She dives back into the water and quickly swims away. You don't feel any different and feel you got gypped. You start to swim after her when a giant shark suprises you... The next thing you know you're in his belly and are incredibly upset. You've not only wasted a wish, but you've been killed on the same day. Then you hear... "Yo quero Taco Bell!" This shark ate the Taco Bell Dog and has been know as Spanish to all the Merfolk ever since.

I wish other people's wishes weren't so easy to corrupt.

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

Granted.

I wish people would stop posting in this thread.

 

[Ransac]

Granted!

Once again, this thread becomes stagnant and the liveliness of the CPA seems to go with it. After the number of active users start dwindling away, Spidey (in a nostalgic moment) starts pouring through the archives when he comes across your wish. In a fit of rage, he boards the next flight to Munich, tracks you down, and kidnaps you for torture. Just as he prepares the electric nipple clips, a meteor lands on you!


I wish for cheese!


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[BigBlue]

Granted!

As you are strolling through the pasture on your Dwarven Pony with your paddle looking for a goat, a meteor made of Gorgonzola lands on your head. The meteor doesn't kill you! You are astounded as you sit amid a pile of crumbled Gorgonzola. You get off your pony, open your pack for your crackers and thuringer. Your paddle doubles as your cutting board. You hear a whirring noise and look up to see a UFO! It lands, the door opens, and you are trampled to death by a horde of Giant Plague Rats, seeking their Gorgonzola! Amazingly, your pony survives - they really do have an awesome ability for survival!

I wish I had a piece of bubblegum.

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

Granted. It's stuck in your throat, and you're choking on it.

I wish I could point and laugh at the choking BB.

 

[Ransac]

Granted!

You're right there, pointing and laughing at him. In this instant, BigBlue coughs up the bubblegum into your open throat. As you start choking and blacking out, BB stands over you, pointing and laughing.


I wish that everyone understood the amazinginess that is the Dwarven Pony


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[rokapoke]

Granted!

... but now that the Dwarven Pony realizes its unfettered animal magnetism, it leaves you for a thinner, more handsome opera singer. You call and call, but the Pony will never come back.

I wish I was funny!

 

[DarthFerret]

Granted: You are funny......in every aspect. Funny looking, funny acting, funny smelling, funny tasting...to the lions. The lions devour you and then sit down for a long awaited game of Yu-Gi-Oh and are smashed to smithereens by a meteor.

I wish I had a dollar!

 

[BigBlue]

Granted!

When you get home, you open the front door and are smothered in dollars... sand dollars. They are all trying to get back to the sea. You struggle to catch your breath, but there are too many of them. You perish under the weight of a million sand dollars.

I wish Ransac would meet his Dwarven Pony and discover just how fickle she is.

 

[Mooseman]

Danger Danger, that wish has already been granted and came true........
Where do you think the idea for the paddle and goat came from...... that pony is very fickle........


I wish that pony, paddle and goat were never mentioned together again.....

 

[Ransac]

Granted! It's sort of a lost wish, though, since the pony is rarely mentioned with the goat and paddle. When you make this realization, you humbly request for a do-over, which is denied. You plot and scheme how to get even for the rest of your days..... which doesn't take that long since you are hit by a meteor the following Monday.

I wish for money to fall from the heavens!!

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

The topless bar near the airport goes out of business. When the owners find out that it was because of your wish, they beat you half to death.

I wish someone would beat Ransac all the way to death.

 

[Mooseman]

Granted! In a foot race to reach The Rider On The Pale Horse Oversoul beats Ransac to Death..... And becomes the pale horse for eternity.......


I wish Ransac was reaped by the Rider on the Pale Horse.

 

[Oversoul]

I cut Ransac's head off with my awesome scythe. But I forget about you, so when you grow old (already happening, huh?) and experience kidney failure, pneumonia, strokes, heart attacks, and really bad diarrhea, you don't die but live in agony for years and years and years.

I wish someone would put Mooseman out of his misery.

 

[rokapoke]

Granted!

... but Mooseman gets put into your misery. Not only do you have the same dreary day-to-day existence you've always had, but now you've got to deal with Mooseman all day every day.

I wish I was big!

 

[Ransac]

Granted!

You are kidnapped by a band of international mercenaries hired by a man whose sole purpose in life is to make your life ironically miserable (my guess is TomB). After hearing your wish, he has you sent to the small African island of Makraneta, inhabited by a vicious tribe of cannibalistic pygmies. As they toss you into the cauldron for stew, you think to yourself "at least I'm big, here..."

I wish that the Samurai Pizza Cats would save rokapoke


Ransac, cpa trash man