Uncle Stephen's Tub-'o-Lard [EDH]

Discussion in 'Casual Decks/Variants/Etc' started by Oversoul, Aug 12, 2019.

  1. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    I was a bit annoyed when I learned that the two weekly rotating point achievements in the West Coast Commander League would be different tribal ones when we already had a monthly point for August for yet another tribe.
    • Deal 10 or more damage with elementals.
    • Control 3 or more creatures in any combination of the types angel, demon, and dragon (no changelings, though).
    • Control hydras with 10 or more power (and a bonus point for controlling one hydra with 10+ power).
    After some brainstorming, I figured I'd go with a deck full of big, fat creatures and ways to rush them out. Progenitus as my commander could make the hydra thing doable, and the other two could be even easier. So here's what I came up with...

    Commander:
    1x Progenitus

    1x Akroma, Angel of Wrath
    1x Angel of Despair
    1x Archfiend of Depravity
    1x Assassin's Trophy
    1x Atarka, World Render
    1x Avacyn, Angel of Hope
    1x Bane of Progress
    1x Boundless Realms
    1x Burgeoning
    1x Capture of Jingzhou
    1x Chromatic Lantern
    1x Command Tower
    1x Cultivate
    1x Cyclonic Rift
    1x Defense of the Heart
    1x Demonic Tutor
    1x Doomgape
    1x Dread
    1x Dread Return
    1x Eldritch Evolution
    1x Elvish Piper
    1x Ever After
    1x Exhume
    1x Exotic Orchard
    1x Forbidden Orchard
    1x Gaea's Cradle
    1x Greater Good
    1x Harrow
    1x Karmic Guide
    1x Karrthus, Tyrant of Jund
    1x Kiora, Behemoth Beckoner
    1x Kodama's Reach
    1x Kokusho, the Evening Star
    1x Leyline of Anticipation
    1x Maelstrom Wanderer
    1x Magmatic Force
    1x Mana Crypt
    1x Mana Vault
    1x Mirari's Wake
    1x Mox Diamond
    1x Painful Truths
    1x Prismatic Geoscope
    1x Prismatic Vista
    1x Quicksilver Amulet
    1x Rakdos, Lord of Riots
    1x Reanimate
    1x Reflecting Pool
    1x Regrowth
    1x Reliquary Tower
    1x Reya Dawnbringer
    1x Rhystic Study
    1x Rune-Scarred Demon
    1x Scrying Sheets
    1x Seasons Past
    1x Shalai, Voice of Plenty
    1x Sheoldred, Whispering One
    1x Sneak Attack
    7x Snow-Covered Forest
    5x Snow-Covered Island
    5x Snow-Covered Mountain
    5x Snow-Covered Plains
    6x Snow-Covered Swamp
    1x Sol Ring
    1x Sunbird's Invocation
    1x Sylvan Library
    1x Temporal Manipulation
    1x Thawing Glaciers
    1x Time Warp
    1x Tooth and Nail
    1x Unburial Rites
    1x Vampiric Tutor
    1x Victimize
    1x Vigor
    1x Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger
    1x Wheel of Fortune
    1x Zendikar Resurgent

    This was disappointing and disheartening. My worst performance in the West Coast Commander League in a long time. Perhaps the deck could have been fun under other circumstances. Yesterday, it was miserable.

    First game I got off to a kind of slow start. I mean, I didn't get much mana and it was in the wrong colors, but I did manage a sneaky trick of first-turn discarding down to hand size and second-turn Reanimate Akroma, which let me apply some damage before one of my opponents got enough mana to cast Evacuation. The game stalled out and the Golos player locked the board down with recursion of spells to keep us from killing him. A point aside from how badly my deck did: I'm really getting sick of these Golos decks. The commander is super-popular and not actually very good, but annoying to deal with if you're slinging some casual silliness. Ultimately, I spent almost the whole game with 1 life, but did manage to get points for almost everything that didn't involve killing people. So I was off to a decent start.

    Second game was a three-man pod. I had terrible draws and could not cast anything relevant. Discarded to hand size after making my first few land drops, then eventually cast Sneak Attack on my seventh turn. I had to Harrow away Gaea's Cradle, but I did get there eventually. In this game, the Golos player (a different Golos player, but like I said, they're everywhere) couldn't do anything either except get Academy Rector. The player with the strong deck killed us both with plenty of time left. After the hasty exteriminatus, we continued and the Golos player immediately killed me with Hive Mind and three different Pact cards. I uneventfully died twice in that round.

    Third game I had an opening hand with Harrow, Reflecting Pool, and Exotic Orchard. Once I got to to three mana I could turn it in four mana and start ramping hard from there. I never drew a land or any spells I could actually cast for the rest of the game. And this wasn't another turn seven kill. I discarded to hand size at least a dozen times before my opponents finally put me out of my misery. It's the worst mana screw I've seen in recent memory. Actually, it was the worst mana screw I can think of right now. I knew I wasn't going to win because of how far behind I was, but even with ample time, I never managed to cast a single spell. It was horrid.

    Oh well, guess we all have bad luck sometimes. Got to roll with the punches. Just kidding. Next week I'm going to run something obnoxiously broken and make them all die horribly.
  2. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    So no one ganged up on you this time, presumably because of your bad starts?
  3. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    There was some back-and-forth in the first game where I was targeted, but eventually we were kind of working together against the Golos player. In the second game the player with Sisay, Weatherlight Captain beat us both to death before we could do anything. And in the third game I was a punching bag that never cast a spell. One player actually saved me from another one in combat so that he could kill me on his own turn.
    Spiderman likes this.

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