The best provoker of all time is myself. I black out the card art with a marker, then red out the power/toughness and name so it can still be read, but only with great effot and up close, and then I white-out, red-out, and black-out borders to not be what they are predictably. Then, I sort of sit there and eyeball my opponent's mother as she shops for his YuGiOh cards.
At that point, I promptly get kicked out of the tourney. Not for bad sportsmanship, but for coming to try to play Magic in the store.