Linux Troubleshooting Storm: A New Beginning (from the makers of Crapstorm)

[turgy22]

The benevolent overseer pauses his DVR of the battle to use the bathroom.

 

[Oversoul]

Ward and Sophia scale the tree in the general direction from which the last ineffective projectile was thrown.

 

[Spiderman]

"Pika pika!" Pikachu also climbs the tree, hopefully behind Pete so he'd keep taking the powder bomb hits but without him if he doesn't.

 

[DarthFerret]

Pete will continue to spin wis way up the tree, web sabre at th ready.

 

[turgy22]

"Curses! Appreciative horsehair I bought!" says the P2E translator.

Another 30 feet; another soldier stands ready to fight.

 

[Oversoul]

Ward attempts to treat his head wound with alcohol, cotton balls, and gauze before engaging in combat with this athletic foot soldier.

 

[rokapoke]

"How tall is this tree, anyway?"

Also, I think "foot locker" should have set off the pun turret.

 

[Oversoul]

"How tall is this tree, anyway?"

There are supposed to be ten ninjas that climbed it and each one seems to occupy one level, so I guess there might be ten levels. And each level is 30 feet. Also, in the post where we first arrived at the tree, it was supposedly about 300 feet tall, so that fits with ten levels of 30 feet each.

 

[Oversoul]

Also, I think "foot locker" should have set off the pun turret.

I'm saving my puns for the last level or for if there are multiple ninjas on one level. Hopefully the turret's range extends that far (it's on the ground I think). It doesn't seem right to waste all the puns on Soldier #4 or whatever if there are still six more of them up there. But not to worry: I thought up quite a few of them for this situation and "foot locker" wasn't even one of them.

 

[turgy22]

Yes, I did catch the "foot locker" pun. The turret only fires horizontally, though, and there are currently no soldiers on the ground to fire at. Therefore, the only target would have been McGill, but he'd just be shooting himself in the foot.

Oversoul's other facts are correct.

 

[Oversoul]

Therefore, the only target would have been McGill, but he'd just be shooting himself in the foot.

I see what you did there. Well, I guess that means my Ninja Turtle and canopy-based puns are useless unless McGill turns on us.

 

[turgy22]

Other opportunities may arise...

 

[turgy22]

Ward soaks a cotton ball in alcohol and applies it to his head wound. It stings like hell, but should prevent infections. Ward then ties the cotton in place using 4 feet of gauze.

Ward gains 2 life and loses 5 comfort.
Ward loses a cotton ball, an ounce of alcohol and 4 feet of gauze.

 

[turgy22]

The foot soldier looks at the party as it climbs to his level of the tree. The group stares back.

"So... do you guys want to, like, fight or what?"

Then he stabs Pete in the thorax. Pete loses 1 life and 2 comfort.

 

[Spiderman]

"Pika!" Pikachu charges up an Energy Ball and flings it at the soldier.

 

[Oversoul]

Note the lack of a thorax. That's something insects have. Pete is a spider. The segments that would form the head and thorax in an insect are fused into a single segment, the prosoma, in arachnids. Ward is not the only one that is a pedant. I, too, am a pedant.

 

[turgy22]

I used (and will continue to use) thorax as a short-hand way of saying cephalothorax.

I refuse to be a slave to the English language.

 

[rokapoke]

McGill cringes as loud klaxons ring out.

He shouts to his compatriots in the tree, "Nerd alert! Watch out! Nerd alert!"

McGill then realizes that his position on a Magic: The Gathering discussion website makes his warning completely unnecessary.

 

[Oversoul]

Ich weigere mich, ein Sklave zu der englischen Sprache sein.

 

[DarthFerret]

Pete is not altogether comfortable with the casual discussion of his anatomy.