A little late, but...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I offer him half my portion of horse steaks, if he likes horse steaks. If not, then I got this nifty horse steak. Wait...
Plague and famine in the air [Gloom and doom and dark despair]
People dying everywhere / Happy birthday...
Fear and gloom and darkness but
No one found out You Know What / Happy birthday...
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake / Happy birthday...
See the women wail and weep
Kill them all but save the sheep / Happy birthday...
You're a period cook, 'tis true
Ask the beetles in the stew / Happy birthday...
Now your jail-bait days are done
Let's go out and have some fun / Happy birthday...
May your deeds with sword and axe
Equal those with sheep and yaks / Happy birthday...
You must marry very soon
Baby's due the next full moon / Happy birthday...
Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you / Happy birthday...
They stole your sword, your gold, your house
Took your sheep but not your spouse / Happy birthday...
Were I sitting in your shoes
I'd go out and sing the blues / Happy birthday...
Though you're turning 29
Age to you is like fine wine / Happy birthday...
So you've lived another year
Age to you is like stale beer / Happy birthday...
So you're 29 again
Don't tell lies to your good friend / Happy birthday...
So another year has past
Don't look back, they're gaining fast / Happy birthday...
Long ago your hair turned gray
Now it's falling out, they say / Happy birthday...
Now you've lived another year
And your death is drawing near / Happy birthday...
Now you've reached the age you are
Your demise cannot be far / Happy birthday...
The Black Death just struck your town
You yourself feel quite run-down / Happy birthday...
Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies you 'et / Happy birthday...
See the lines upon your face
Like the pattern of old lace / Happy birthday...
At your age you ought to learn
First you pillage, then you burn / On your birthday...
Burn the castle and storm the keep
Kill the women but save the sheep / Happy birthday...
It's your birthday, never fear
You'll be dead this time next year / Happy birthday...
We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud / Happy birthday...
I like children, yes I do
Baked or broiled or in a stew / Happy birthday...
I'm a leper, can't you see
Have a birthday kiss from me / Happy birthday...
Now you've lived another year
Now you know that Death is near / Happy birthday...
Children dying everywhere
They say that cancer's caused by beer / Happy birthday...
Famine, fear, fire and flood
Can't keep your face out of the mud / Happy birthday...
Burn, then rape by firelight
Add romance to life tonight / Happy birthday...
So far Death you have bypassed
Don't look back it's gaining fast / Happy birthday...