Gaffs & Goofs

Killer Joe

Killer Joe

New member
I smell a "Reaity" show comming on called, "Paris is Who's B***h now?" :)

Was our Bicentennial celebrated in 1776? :D

David Hassel"my shirt is"hoff was caught being drunk,.....again. WHO?!!!!????

Imus to sue CBS for breaking their contract with him because recently CBS had acknowledged that IMUS' show was exactly what they wanted it to be and at that time they were okay with that. Good Luck I-Man!

Bill O'Reilly..........what, I actually have to say more? :rolleyes:

Roger "Rocket" Clemens gets signed by the NY Yankees to play four months for them at a whopping 18 Million bucks or so. That actually comes down to about $7,500 per ball he throws to the plate.......at age 44!!!?????

Dear Mr. Steinbrenner,
There are starving kids two blocks down from your office, could you at least give them a million bucks you have laying around so they can get some food?
Thanks, your Conscience.

Obama has now quilified for Secret Service protection yet Dennis Kucinich has to drive himself to these debates... :D

Want more? Watch the evening news! :)
 
Mooseman

Mooseman

Isengar Tussle
Articulate???? That's an insult? There has to be more to it.
Of course they (Bill and Glenn) don't have any black friends, they don't have white friends either, they only have cronies and partners in idiocy.....
 
Killer Joe

Killer Joe

New member
Paris Hilton could break out of her 45-day jail sentence six days ahead of schedule -- but only if she's on her best behavior. In other words, she MUST serve 39 days minimum, and there's no way out earlier.

TMZ has learned that Hilton is eligible for a "Good Time/Work Time" credit, a federal mandate which offers a chance to leave the joint early -- for inmates sentenced to 11 days or more. According to the mandate, every four days that an inmate spends behind bars "in an acceptable manner" will count as six. So, as long as Paris doesn't smuggle in a BlackBerry or stab a fellow inmate with a shank carved from a bar of soap -- she should be back at Hyde after just 39 orange jumpsuit-clad days!

Another way Hilton could be released sooner is if the jails became overcrowded in a short period of time due to a special circumstance, like a giant city-wide riot. A federal order would allow the most non-violent offenders to be released first to make room.

Police sources tell us that the Hollywood hills resident will enjoy a 24-person POD for "special needs inmates," and she'll be bunking with a fellow convict. Finally, being a socialite comes in handy!

The judge has ordered that the celebutante is to receive "no alternative sentencing," which means no work furlough, no home detention, and no city jail programs. And you thought being an heiress was easy.
 
S

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
That's better (or worse, depending on your point of view :) than what I read earlier... before it was she got a day off for every day of good behavior, meaning she might have gotten out after 22 or so days...
 
Killer Joe

Killer Joe

New member
Did you see her mug shot? She was definitely posing with pouty lips and sexy eyes, give-me-a-break! She's NUTS!

Now I hear she's not having a cell-mate because the prison doesn't want anything to happen to Paris because of liability and all, whatever, I think they didn't want her ceel-mate to become rich by selling her story. Even the guards were told not to take pictures or they'd lose thier job........Okay, a 20K a year job vs a Quarter of a Million for photos of Paris in an orange jumpsuit. Not a hard choice.
 
Mooseman

Mooseman

Isengar Tussle
KJ,
You need to read better news stories. Didn't the Republicans have a debate last night? Was anyone arrested? Was Michael Moore barred from attending?
 
Killer Joe

Killer Joe

New member
Without Fred Thompson at the debate what was the point of having it?

Personally, as a Democrat I'd be afraid of a McCain/Guilliani ticket because I actually like those two because they're "Moderate" Republicans and appeal to many Americans across party lines.

Mitt Romney will never win as long as the news media (FOX and Friends) keeps trying to get him to distance himeself from his Mormon religion.

They all hate Hillary, why? No reason needed, they just do. :confused:

As for the Democrat Debate, the only interesting thing was how the media made fun of Dennis Kucenich's BOX he had to stand on... :D

Now, onto Day 2 of Paris' jail house blues:

I think she'll have "Street Cred" when she gets out and maybe cut a Rap CD or something, surely a new line of Jailhouse clothing will be out Fer Shure! :p
 
Killer Joe

Killer Joe

New member
Day 3: Welp, she spent two hours with her psychiatrist yesterday complaining how a Bologna Sandwich attacked her at lunch. I understand that her fellow prisoners are filling up thier Dance Cards with Paris Hilton's name for this comming Friday's "Prom at the Prison" event. :eek:

Not to be outdone former friend and sickly alli Nichole Richie may be facing her own jail-time from having lied to Police about use of drugs last January. Sorry Nichole, the ugly girls have to stay in the General Population :(

Stay tuned for next time when we hear Paris scream, "Hey! I can't take another potato!" :eek:
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
I've taken out a hit on Paris Hilton. If all goes according to plan, the Rescue Rangers will pelt her with acorns until she dies from injuries. THEN, all will be right with the world.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Killer Joe

Killer Joe

New member
Paris Hilton is supposed to go to court today and had planned on testifying by phone, GOOD GRIEF!!!!

Now she's been ordered to show up in person.

All kidding aside, this is ridiculous! :confused:
 
N

Nightstalkers

Guest
So Paris Hilton was kept in prison for what... 72 hours before some mysterious health condition caused her go home under house arrest? They shrunk her world from a jail cell to a 400 acre mansion. Nice going! Next time howabout we really punnish her and put'er under guest-house arrest? Now she's having to explain this medical condition? Howabout writers block for one? Nah, just kidding guys... Hell, she wasn't even in jail long enough to sober up.

And don't worry folks, Paris Hilton's new book "Memoirs from Prison" will be released in November on DVD. It'll be about as good as her other porno vids.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY GREATEST BIRTHDAY WISH CAME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paris is back in jail servinig the ORIGINAL FULL SENTENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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