Corrupted Wishes game

[Ransac]

Granted. a meteor lands on you, but only crushes the lower half of your body. You try to call for help, but meteor gas vents out of one side and chokes you, prohibiting your ability to talk. You lay helpless for several days, wondering when it will all end and hoping it will be be soon. A few more days pass and as you're about to die of dehydration, another meteor lands on you.


I wish to be successful and happy.


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[orgg]

Granted. Unfortunatly, there is no true happiness.

Everyone who has committed suicide knows this. Including you.

I wish everyone knew of the genius of the band Devo.

 

[Spiderman]

GRAANTED!

It becomes the most requested band in the stores and on the airwaves. In fact, it becomes the only band in the stores an on the airwaves. Soon there is nothing left to listen to than DEVO. Which drives everyone slowly mad... until they cannot appreciate the genius that is DEVO once again.

I wish that clothes didn't fray or get torn and you have to get replacements

 

[Ransac]

Granted. Everyone wears chainmail everything. Socks, hats, pants, underwear. This leads to horrible rust stains on everyone's body. That leads to tetenus (LOCK JAW!!!!!). Word gets spread that you are the one that wished for the "better" clothing and you are chased out of town by an angry mob....

...and then a meteor lands on you.

I wish someone could explain where the meteors came from


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[evan d]

Wish granted! The meteors come from the brave new world, where clothes aren't mended, but rather are replaced. this and other changes lead tro the elimination of the downs in your life, but also the ups. Your life begins to slowly flatline and it finally does. You die in a grey area.

Either that or your sick and twisted imagination. But either way you die

I wish that book was easier for my classmates to understand.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! The book in question has now become "One Fish, Two Fish" and your classmates are enjoying themselves with this fine read. Unfortunately, during class, everyone simultaneously gets a deep paper cut on their wrists from opening their books and blood overflows the room, which you eventually drown in....

....somehow through all this, a meteor lands on you.


I wish that I had the ability to do ANYTHING I wanted to do!

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

You can now do anything you want to do. But whenever you use this power, the rest of us are waiting to corrupt it, sort of like in this game. You end up a broken man, tortured mentally, physically, and spiritually. But you don't get hit by a meteor.

I wish Spiderman would corrupt this wish.

 

[Ransac]

.......damn you.......

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Spiderman]

Heh...

GRRAAANTED!

Not only do I corrupt it in all the ways you can think of, I corrupt it in several ways you didn't. It's a thoroughly corrupted wish by the time I'm through with it.

I wish I had a hovercar

 

[Ransac]

Granted! However, your hovercar is hit by a meteor while sitting in your driveway. You call the insurance company to file a claim on it, but they are promptly hit by meteors, as well. You decide to write a letter to the CEO of the insurance company, but the mailtruck is hit by a meteor as it picks it up. You have no choice but to ride your unicycle to work, as your webshooters have been misplaced.....underneath a newly fallen meteor. While wondering when the meteors you come after you, you're struck by lightning.................................and then the remains of your hovercar spontaneously combust.



And THEN a meteor lands on you.

I wish that Baskins Robbins had 33,000 flavors of Ice Cream.

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[evan d]

Wish granted! There are 33'000 flavors. Unfortunately you decide to eat all 33'000 gallons in one sitting. As you are about to explode, you are bit by a cow that is then hit by a duck......shaped meteorite.

I wish I could understand females.

 

[Oversoul]

You get your wish. But you just can't resist actually using your ability to understand females, which is really far worse of a punishment than I was anticipating dishing out here, so you get also candy bar to make up for a little bit of it. Ha, the candy bar was poisoned, so now you're sick AND you understand females. Did you really think I'd go easy on you?

I wish for a big tub of nitroglycerin

 

[Ransac]

Granted! Your tub of Nitroglycerin arrives via Fed-Ex, being delivered by a relatively new delivery boy named Frank. He tries to carry the tub into the house by himself, but the weight is too much and the tub spills over the entire foundation of the house. Meanwhile, some neighborhood brats are throwing rocks at your house and one rock hits the base of the house just as it freezes over. This causes a chain reaction that brings the whole house down. Where are you during this? You've been in your bathtub with headphones on, listening to "Hit me Baby One more time" on repeat for hours on end. The bathtub falls through the ceiling and you land in a puddle of the freezing chemical next to a frozen Frank. Just as your eyes freeze over, you notice that a meteor is heading straight towards you.

I wish for no more of this Pop music bullOINK!

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

You are standing in my house at the time the nitroglycerin obeys the laws of physics and explodes like it should have, rather than freezing things like it was earlier. You are deafened permanently by the explosion, and are no longer subjected to pop music because you are deaf.

I wish I were somewhere else.

 

[Ransac]

You step three steps to the left. There's a mime sitting behind you. He smiles and stuns you with a taser. You wake up at his apartment with no pants on. You wish that a meteor would land on you.............. but it doesn't.



I wish that I had every superpower that the members of the Justice League have.

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

You inherit several superpowers, along with a raging case of syphilis that drives you mad and eventually kills you.

I wish we knew which superhero gave Ransac syphilis.

 

[orgg]

The Justice League superhero with syphillis sneaks into your apartment and rapes you. You now have syphillis, too!

I wish the other board I got this on would've picked up how the game works as well as the CPA has.

 

[Ransac]

Granted! The popularity of this thread on the other board soars and hits 20,000 replies in one day!!!! However, the vast overload of posts in that period of causes that board's server to crash. The electrical interference caused by the crash causes several satellites to change their courses to the exact same location..........which is a passing meteor! This causes the meteor to plummet towards earth. You spot the meteor coming right at you and you decide to take this challenge. You spit on your hands and extend them outward, pushing against the meteor with all your might as it makes impact with you. Fortunately, YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO STOP IT AND YOU CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!.....


...Unfortunately, a larger meteor lands on you, afterwards!

I wish that Jackie Chan wasn't so short.

Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Spiderman]

GRRAAANTED!

However, he fails to compensate for this while doing some stunts and overshoots a wall while climbing it walking wall-to-wall-in-the-corner style. He lands on a piece of equipment on the other side and is seriously injured, enough to cause him to retire. His legion of fans are outraged and find out where you live and...

well, it's not pretty.

I wish I could visit all the amusement parks in the US

 

[Killer Joe]

Granted!

But you failed to mention you'd like to visit them one at a time! Your body is split into as many pieces as there are amusment parks in the US and you die!

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner.